Social Stuff

A Real Man is a Good Citizen

THE THING

Here’s the Thing! I have long believed that every school should have a faculty called Good Citizenship. I don’t believe that I am the first person to ever think about this concept and I won’t be the last. The fact is that we need citizenship schools.

Real Men understand that in order to live in harmony with our neighbours in our communities, we need to adhere to certain moral, ethical, respectful, tolerant, commonsense practices. It seems that for too long we have left good citizenship and common sense unwritten and unenforced.

Real Men abide by good citizenship rules.

The challenge with having an illiterate electorate is that you get leaders who are nothing more than incompetent, manipulative thugs; and you only have to look at our world of dictators to see the point.

People need to be schooled, even in the most basic of levels, to understand how a government works; how officials and people in office are actually appointed by the people, and that they work for the electorate and not the other way around.

People need to pass a basic “how to live together test,” so that we all understand the need for respect, space and the rights of individuals. We need to understand that ‘might is not right’ and that self-interest never trumps the collective good.

THE REWARD

We are able to live in harmony with each other.

We are not guilty of really pissing somebody else off, because of our unconscious, intolerant behaviour.

THE HOW TO

1. Don’t litter.
2. Don’t talk on your phone without a car kit, whilst driving a car.
3. Never ever text and drive.
4. Don’t stop at the top of an escalator to decide which direction you’re going to walk in.
5. Know what you want to order in a restaurant.
6. If you are a jogger, don’t jog in the road where cars have to swerve to miss you.
7. If you’re a cyclist, keep strictly to your side of the road and never ride two abreast while chatting.
8. Put away your weights at a gym.
9. Put some pants on at a gym - I don’t want to see you ugly shriveled up, hairy junk.
10. Don’t be a noisy neighbour.
11. Don’t be a nosy neighbour.
12. When going to a movie, shut up.
13. When going to a movie, decide what it is you wish to see, before you get to the paying counter.
14. Don’t kick my chair. Don’t put your feet up on the chairs. Don’t snore in the movie.
15. Get involved in your community.
16. Stop complaining and do stuff.
17. Stop at Stop signs.
18. Don’t pull off, until the light turns green.
19. Don’t swerve your car right - when you want to turn left.
20. Wake up.
21. Drive in the slow lanes until you want to pass somebody, then pass them and move back into the slower lanes.
22. Basically, just obey the bloody rules of the road.
23. Obey your municipal bylaws.
24. Always think about how your conduct is affecting others.

TROUBLE SHOOTING

• Aren’t you proposing a nanny state?
  No spark plug, I am proposing a place where people think about what they do and how it affects other people around them. The old ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’ applies, nothing more - nothing less.
• All good and well, but there is no such thing as citizenship school, so what’s the plan?
  The plan is pretty simple, run your own citizenship school and be an ‘A’ student. Be the example of an outstanding citizen to your kids, your family, your friends and anyone who meets you.

WISDOM

"A good citizen needs not of necessity to be a good man." - Aristotle

by Koco

A Real Man Gets Involved

THE THING

Here’s the Thing! Real men understand the importance of community. They understand that communities support families and that the more they are involved, the better the community. So, Real Men get involved with civic organizations, causes and schools.

In a modern, communication-friendly world, we are finding more and more that people are doing the exact opposite and are disappearing behind gated communities and walls and not connecting.

Alone we can go far, but together we can go further, so Real Men join and form associations for the betterment of the community.

Real Men volunteer their time at schools because they understand the importance of male role models.

Real Men volunteer to be street captains in suburbs, they join community policing forums and they get involved in the ratepayers’ associations.

Instead of sitting and complaining from a distance - Real Men get involved.

THE REWARD

Strong, close-knit communities have a habit of raising strong independent children.

Strong communities foster a safer, more successful populace.

When people stand together for the common good, they build relationships and a place to experience a sense of contribution.

When we have our neighbours looking out for us, our families are safer.

THE HOW TO

1. Pick an area in your community that you would like to see improved or that you are interested in and join.
2. Attend the important town hall meetings.
3. Start a civic organisation if your community doesn’t have one for a particular area. Just get involved.
4. In my diary I have a box that I need to tick every month that shows I have done something to contribute to my community.
5. In our last community, we upgraded, built and changed the security procedures, creating one of the best functioning road closure/ gated communities in our suburb. My wife ran and managed the entire operation while I met with suppliers, trained guards and held them accountable.
6. Volunteer your time to be part of the community clean-up.
7. Put your signature on a petition.
8. Contact and introduce yourself to all of your neighbours. Have all of the contact details at arm’s length.
9. Get to know what is happening in your community. Know who belongs there and who doesn’t, and look out for your neighbours.

TROUBLE SHOOTING

• I just hate committees and meetings!
  I think most people feel exactly the same way. But they get involved anyway. It does take a certain type of person to run and chair an association or meeting; I am not one of those people. I will however attend a meeting, have my say and when asked, I will volunteer my time and my services. There is always something you can do.
• No one really appreciates anything that you do.
  That is why we don’t do it for the appreciation, accolades or acknowledgement. We get involved with our community because it is something that we must do for ourselves. I really don’t care what you think, I just want to put my head down and make a difference. The rest is just noise.

WISDOM

"Individually we are one drop, together we are an ocean." - Ryunsuke Satoro

by Koco

A Real Man friend always has your Back

THE THING

Here’s the Thing! It’s true that making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got, it can be tough, that’s why having a true friend can make all the difference.

ARM knows this, so he commits to always having his friend’s back. When somebody knows that you have their back, they can act more confidently, knowing that someone is looking out for them. ARM understands that his best friend, (his wife or his girlfriend), or other male or female best friends, are the people that he puts first, and he always has their backs. Having someone’s back means that they can depend on you when times get tough. Having someone’s back means that someone is looking out for the haters who are sneaking up behind you when you are too focused on achieving your goal. When you know someone has got your ‘6’ (it’s an old military term, 12 o’clock being in front of you, 6 o’clock being behind you), you never have to worry about surprise attacks that you didn’t see coming.

Having someone’s back also means that when they are down on their backs, you are the one who lifts them up, bandages their wounds and sends them back out, feeling motivated to fight another day and never to give up.

Having someone’s back could also mean not getting involved, but having the person know that no matter what, you will be there when they need you.

When a friend knows that you have their back it means that they trust you completely and that you will never let them down.

You may be surprised to find that the people who really do have your back are not the ones you see every day. They may be people you only see once in a while, but when the shit hits the fan, they will stand next to you when everybody else deserts you.

THE REWARD

Knowing that you have a friend, who has your back, allows you the confidence to move forward and to achieve great things. Having someone else’s back, gives you the opportunity to help another human being.

THE HOW TO

1. Sometimes having someone’s back just means sitting in a room with him or her at 3 o’clock in the morning when they are hurting. It may just be the person who sits in the corner while your friend needs to process. In many cases, you don’t even have to say a word. You just have to be there.
2. Having a friend’s back is when someone close to them passes away. You go to the funeral and you stand next to or slightly behind them. When my Dad passed, I can honestly tell you I never remembered a single word anyone said, but I did remember who was there. I noticed who stood next to me without a word when I buried my Dad. I told the congregation that they didn’t have to say a word, the fact that they were there was enough.
3. If a friend has an unexpected, unplanned, unavoidable financial crisis, have their back.
4. If someone is bullying them or their family, have their back.
5. Your friend loses her job. You call your contacts, all your friends and you try and get her another one, because you’ve got her back.
6. ARM is a true friend, and is more than words; he acts and will not let you down.
7. If he makes excuses or has something more important to do, chances are he is a buddy and not a real friend.
8. Having his back means that you defend him or her. We will discuss this next.

TROUBLE SHOOTING

• What happens if your friend gets himself into financial difficulty because of a poor decision.
  We’ve already discussed that you should never lend money to a friend, unless it’s an emergency due to an unexpected event. You can still have someone’s back when it was all his or her fault. Hey - people make mistakes. A friend of mine fell on hard times – to be honest, they just spent too much - and asked me for money. I told him - no. The funny thing was that by saying no, I did have his back. I told him that as long as I was alive he would always have a roof over his head. There would always be food in his fridge, even if I had to buy the food and fill the fridge myself. He would never be homeless as long as I had a home, and he would never go hungry, as long as I was around. I would take care of his basic human survival essentials for him and his family while he got back on his feet. I had his back.You see, by lending him money, he would not have fixed what was wrong and I would have made it worse for him, because by the next month he would then owe me as well, and still have all his other debts.He was forced to make a plan with all of his creditors, and as a family they had to have tough conversations and change their behaviour. At the time, he thought I was a selfish prick, years later he thanked me and I know he now uses the same idea when he gets asked for money.

  The two questions that you should really ask yourself right now are: who’s back do you have and who has your back?

WISDOM

"I can’t promise to fix all of your problems, but I can promise you won’t have to face them alone." - Anonymous

by Koco