A Real Man Says Sorry
THE THING
Here’s the Thing! It takes a Real Man not only to admit his mistake but genuinely to own it and say those three little words. Three words that must be spoken as a stand-alone statement with no excuses attached, no ifs or buts. The three words must be spoken with openness, honesty and genuine feelings of remorse. I am sorry!
Sorry doesn’t mean that there are no consequences, sorry means that you are remorseful and that it won’t ever happen again. It may take some time for somebody to forgive. It may take a whole lot of effort on your part to regain the person’s trust. Bear in mind that some people believe that once trust has been broken it can never again be given.
They say that to forgive is divine and perhaps your life is filled with people who can and do forgive. If you are lucky enough, and you get a second chance, you can never make the same mistake again. No matter what the outcome, a Real Man says sorry and he means it. In many situations, a simple “I’m sorry”, can be all the difference because people need to know that they are important and they really want to believe that people are good. It may not get you forgiveness and it may make the person crazy angry; but you can only be responsible for your apology and to try and fix that which needs fixing, the rest is up to the aggrieved party.
THE REWARD
When you say sorry you clean the slate and take ownership of your actions.
By saying sorry, you release bad energy, you solve the mystery of who done it; you may even get the chance to make it right.
Some women will accept your apology and may even forgive you.
I know I wouldn’t, but then again in many circumstances women are better than us.
Saying sorry means that you care, even if it wasn’t your fault, it’s always nice when someone says, “I am so sorry that it happened to you”.
THE HOW TO
- Always clarify what exactly you are apologising for, this shows that you understand fully the consequences and the gravity of the “crime” or your cock up!
- When appearing in court, the accused that pleads guilty is always asked in detail if he understands what he did and the consequences of his actions. He is asked if he knew that what he did was against the law and only after the magistrate is completely satisfied that he understands and accepts the gravity of the situation will he accept the guilty plea. You need to apologise for all that you did and make sure that they understand that you realise what you did and why it was unacceptable or hurtful or cheeky.
- Always try and add in “I will never do that again!” This will always help with further trust issues.
- Try and add “I have really learnt from my mistake; I was such an idiot please forgive me, I am so sorry!” Doing this on your knees, bearing gifts and eating humble pie while walking out to the dog box will probably have more impact.
TROUBLE SHOOTING
- “I said sorry but she just won’t let it go.”
If it was a biggie she is entitled to hold onto it and make you feel very guilty. Ride the storm, take it on the chin and work like mad to gain her respect and trust again. If, however, it starts wearing a little thin and it is thrown in your face month after month and is preventing your relationship from moving forward - let her know: if she cannot forgive, you may have to decide on a different course of action. - “But I’ll get into more trouble if I say sorry!”
Man-up and work the trust back. - “She is seven years old and very disappointed.”
Explain to her that she has the right to feel disappointed. Explain and show how you are a human and Dads make mistakes. Give an example of how she may have unintentionally disappointed you at some time, and you forgave her. Kids need to be taught about making mistakes and owning up to them.
WISDOM
"Saying sorry doesn’t mean there isn’t guilt, and forgiveness doesn’t mean that the pain is gone." - Harriet Morgan
A Real Man Loves and Respects Women
THE THING
Here’s the Thing! A Real Man believes women are one of God’s greatest gifts to the world. He loves them for who they are and respects them for what they are!
Women are the givers of life. They are the alpha and the omega, they are the day after a cold scary, long, dark, night, and the night after a long, hot, hard day. They are stronger than us in so many ways. Just putting up with guys and their issues is proof enough. A good woman is God’s gift to you, how you treat her is your gift to God.
A Woman is the creative flow and dance of the world, she is the open, omnipresent love energy and she is drawn to her opposite; a masculine energy that is direct, strong and courageous.
You have to get this because it is the foundation of almost all of a man’s thinking. Let’s face it, thinking about women, searching for them, trying to impress them, spending time with them and trying to get one to choose you to spend the rest of your life with takes up almost all of a man’s life.
Women are to be respected, protected, loved, appreciated, assisted, and can be, if they choose to be, in almost every area - our equals. In any area where they are not equal due to physical strength or biology a Real Man sees himself as being that missing piece.
A Real Man knows that women are in fact far superior to them in many areas and that they exist to compliment and to complete our shortcomings. We are literally made for each other.
All of a Real Man’s foundational thinking stems from these beliefs. It is the reason for his devotion and respect as well as the motivation for his love. ARM never sees a woman as his equal; that is yesterday’s women’s lib crap. ARM sees a woman as powerfully different and the zig to his zag, the yin to his yang, the marvellous missing piece to the puzzle. Any women who wishes to be equal to or anything like a man - is lost and they have no ambition. Why would she want to be equal to something (have you seen the average man) when she can be greater than him in her femininity? Why would she want to be less than her magnificent, full, loving, open, strong, giving self, to be like a frikken man? Just like men there are women who are also not living up to their full amazingness.
One of the toughest challenges a Real Man has is to meet an amazing woman. Just as a woman will have to kiss a lot of toads and tools until she finds a Real Man, so too will a Real Man have to journey through many precious, issue filled, manipulative, conditioned women. Every pot however has a lid, you just have to find it, and look after it when you do.
THE REWARD
The greater your respect for a woman the greater her love and respect will be for you.
The greater your self-respect the greater respect she will have for you.
Respectful men raise respectful children.
By earning her respect, she may respect you. Please remember that if a person has no self-respect it will be very difficult to show respect for someone else.
A woman who knows that she is truly loved and respected will reciprocate, and the true love of a good woman cannot be described.
THE HOW TO
- Women respect strength. Be strong. Yes, it’s nice to be able to sit and talk through your problems with your lady, and I know it’s what she wants you to do. But it’s not what she needs. What she needs is a strong man in her life; someone who is in control and with whom she can feel safe. You shouldn’t hide your vulnerable side but most of the time, suck it up, take it on the chin and tell her it’s done. Tell her it’s sorted. Make her feel safe and looked after; she doesn’t want to hear about all your issues.
- Grow some balls! A woman respects the man who has an opinion, a point of view and a backbone. In matters of principle, honour and issues that really matter: stand your ground.
- The more you respect yourself the more others will respect you. This is gold. No one will ever respect you until you have self-respect. Self-respect is a sense of pride about how you feel about yourself. It includes well-defined boundaries and values. When you respect yourself you never allow anyone to make you feel inferior. You respect all that is yours: your body, your mind and your life. Do unto yourself, as you would have others do unto you. Read that again… it’s clever.
- Just love her for the person she is and the person she wishes to become.
- Love is an action that brings about feelings. It’s what we do that demonstrates our love, not what we think, intend or feel.
- Love her for her faults; you can’t just love all her good stuff because then you are only getting half of her. The crazy thing about true love is how we actually love someone for the stuff we know about them, that no one else does; the fears, mistakes, and little idiosyncrasies that the outside word never sees. When you love, love the whole package.
TROUBLE SHOOTING
- “I don’t get any respect!”
All women are not the same and perhaps you had a few who didn’t respect you or who had no self-respect. Deal with it. You cannot go around disrespecting women because you have mommy issues. Man-up. - “ Women have issues.”
I know it’s a generalisation, but I’m pretty confident when I say that most women in our world are raised as second-class citizens at most. Either that or they are being spoiled rotten and being told that they are literally God’s gift to mankind. Both of these extremes and all of the levels in between create complex creatures. Throw in hormones, the menstrual cycle, peer pressure, Hollywood and advertising and you have a pretty challenging individual. Understand this, appreciate this, but don’t ever give in to it. When she starts making her issues your issues and you allow it, not only are you stuffed, but you will both lose respect for each other! - “Some women aren’t nice!”
Just like men, some women are just mean. Apart from having issues, (like men) they take all of their issues out on those around them. Women are like men in more ways than you can possibly imagine. For every man idiot, you get his equal in woman form. If she’s not a nice human being, then you know what to do.
WISDOM
"A woman brought you into this world, so you have no right to disrespect one." - Tupac