Rule 2: A Real Man Protects his and all Children
THE THING
Here’s the Thing! Evolved societies protect the weakest amongst them. The weakest and most vulnerable in any society are our children. How children are treated when they are small will determine the type of adults they become, and how they treat their children and their elders. It’s a never-ending cycle.
Real Men understand the vulnerability, and in many cases, the helplessness of children. Real Men make sure that children are always safe and they spend most of their time making sure that no harm comes to them. It has been said that it takes a village to raise a child. Unfortunately, in a modern society with walls, gates and self-interest we seem to have moved to communities of isolation and non-communication.
Real Men, however, understand that it is their responsibility to look out for the safety and well-being of all children. Real Men would expect another man to protect his children in his absence, and he would know to do the same if the roles were reversed. Real Men protect children; they look after children and they teach children how to protect and look after themselves.
One of my main motivations for writing this MANual was how shockingly poor we as men are doing in this regard. It is disgusting - the amount of crime, manipulation, beatings, rapes and murders that are committed against children every day in this and in most countries. This shit has to stop and it starts and ends with Real Men. We can stop this and it all starts at home. It all starts in your home.
THE REWARD
Here’s another cliché: The children are our future. Not in any esoteric or Disneyland interpretation. Today’s children are literally the future of the world, and they will be making decisions on how you live as an old person, and how your grandchildren will be raised. Children who are raised to feel protected and safe are able to express themselves more freely. They become confident and feel loved and thereby spread confidence and love.
When you protect a child, you fulfil your role as a man.
When I wrote this, I thought – “why the hell would you even need a reward for protecting your children?” – this point is pointless.
THE HOW TO
- Make sure your home is safe, inside and out.
- Baby proof the house without becoming paranoid and going over the top.
- Never move into a house that does not have a lockable fence around a swimming pool. If you have children, grandchildren or any friends that have children - you must have protection against a drowning.
- In some cases, a fence may be impractical, so install a net or pool guard. Always remain alert when young people are around and be very, very vigilant. A kid came around to our house the other day, so I literally taped up every lock on every door leading out to the swimming pool. I warned the parent of the child, and I informed every adult in the house about the danger. It was a ‘pain-in-the-arse’ day, but the kid got home safely. If guests come to your home with small children, remind them that they must at all times be vigilant and watch their children. Elect an adult or a teenager for lifeguard duty the entire time of the party.
- In some poorer communities, toilets are “long drops”, these need to be secured, protected and locks need to be put in place that need adults to assist these children. The entire community should make donations to have all of these “toilets” sorted.
- Tuck your children into bed at night, every night if possible, making sure that they feel safe, because you are there.
- Feed your kids nutritional meals.
- Try not to use physical violence of any sort on your child. Violence begets violence. I am a great believer in refocusing, gentle tapping, firm admonishing, time-outs, and grounding, in order to protect children from themselves.
- Buy a book, research child discipline on the Internet and have a plan of action.
- Never leave your child in the care of anyone who you do not trust and who you have not completely checked out. This includes sleeping over at a friend, if you don’t know the parents - don’t take the risk. Most crimes committed against children are by people known to or who are family of the child. How scary is this fact?
- I could go on and on about all you can do, but basically when a child is born you become their personal bodyguard, protecting them from all outside dangers and themselves. It really does not stop.
TROUBLE SHOOTING
- What about disease?
Most diseases today have some type of inoculation or treatment. Make sure you tick all of the boxes after you have done thorough research. However, sometimes in life, in spite of all your efforts and vigilance, shit just happens! Manage it. Work it. Always just do the best that you can, that’s all anyone can ask.
WISDOM
"I am there waiting, watching and keeping to the shadows; but when you need me I’ll step out of the shadows and protect what’s mine." - Unknown
Rule 1: A Real Man Provides for his Children
THE THING
Here’s the Thing! Real Men provide for all of the needs of their children. This goes for their children when they are married or out of wedlock or when they are divorced. Real Men have no time for those dead beats who use all legal wrangling, lawyering and working the system to get out of paying their share for THEIR kids’ needs. That includes the low-lifes that rely on an incompetent court system (mostly run by gutless men) to help them fall through the cracks.
Real Men know that they have responsibilities when they shoot one past the goalie, so they step up and do whatever they can to help support that child. That little person is your responsibility and they start being your responsibility months before they arrive, up to and including their 21st birthday and beyond.
It is a lifetime ownership and commitment - so Man the hell up and do it!
Real Men provide financially for every aspect of their kids’ lives; from medical to educational, housing, clothing, food, and recreational. Real Men make sure the mother of the children does the same.
Real Men provide stability, care, kindness, emotional support, love and strength to their children. No excuses accepted. End of discussion!
At this point you should be in total agreement and if you are saying in your head – “Yes but …” you seriously need to be kicked in the gonads. If it is your child, you better flippen ‘man up’ and provide - because that’s what Real Men do.
THE REWARD
Maybe, just maybe, you may become a role model to your kids and the world and they will grow up to be better people and parents themselves.
Maybe, you’ll have learnt the meaning of the word sacrifice and putting another human being before yourself, thereby building character.
Maybe, you will be blessed with the love and respect of the mother of those children.
They will love you, if you provide for them.
You will be someone’s hero.
You will be an example of a ‘stand-up guy’ who teaches by what he does.
THE HOW TO
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Get a job and keep it. Make sure your kids have before you do.
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If you need to go hungry so they can eat, go hungry.
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If you need to work 3 jobs, work 3 jobs.
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If your relationship with their mother ends, they are still your kids and you are still responsible for providing for them. Do it. I don’t care what she did or didn’t do, it’s not about you and it’s not about her. It’s about the kids, provide for them. They are your responsibility.
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Kids don’t need luxuries and they don’t need to be spoilt, they just need to be provided for and you are the provider.
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Most importantly, children need your time. Women and children spell the word love – T I M E. If you spend and give your time, they will feel the love. Just be with them. When you give another human being attention, they cannot help but thrive.
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Having children is a massive responsibility. A responsibility I believe most young men cannot fathom. Is it tough? You bet, but you made them, you provide for them.
TROUBLE SHOOTING
- I do try but I don’t think my ex is playing ball.
Make sure she does. I always tell women to make sure that they use every legal angle to ensure a man provides for his kids. So, what’s good for the goose...
WISDOM
"Children shouldn’t have to sacrifice so that you can have the life you want. You make sacrifices so your children can have the life they deserve." - Unknown