My trusted dictionary defines a man, firstly and obviously, as the male of the species but the definitions that intrigued me were, “qualities of courage and toughness” and “being able to arrange and decide things independently.”

I discovered that the word real is defined as anything occurring as a fact, genuine, actual or true.

So, I suppose when you put the words together and for the purposes of this MANual you find a Real Man is a genuine, actual, true, independent person of courage and toughness. Now there’s a starting point.

I suppose the definition of a man has changed over the millennia. Different times required different actions and attributes, so some may argue that what defined a man at the beginning of the 20th century, cannot be the same as what defines a Real Man today. To a certain extent this could be true. Roles and responsibilities, values, and a different world required men, in fact, demanded of men, to conduct themselves in ways that were appropriate to the times.

I do not wish to delve into a history lesson of men because that’s not the manual I wished to write. With the exception of the occasional dip into the past to make a point or illustrate an example, for the purpose of this work, it is the modern definition of a Real Man that I will concern myself with.

Without major role models, how do we define the Real Man and who are our current role models? It has been interesting during my research to speak to various men on the subject. It almost seems that there are as many definitions of a Real Man as there are people willing to give them to you. The frightening thing for me is that most males’ and females’ definitions are based on their experiences with the males in their lives. Most males and females speak immediately of their fathers and/or husbands and unfortunately in most cases they seem not only to state dysfunctional characteristics as a positive, but for the most part they condone the dysfunctional behaviours of their fathers and husbands. It seems that the conditioning and socialisation of our society regarding men has created confusion to say the least.