THE THING

Here’s the Thing! I have long believed that every school should have a faculty called Good Citizenship. I don’t believe that I am the first person to ever think about this concept and I won’t be the last. The fact is that we need citizenship schools.

Real Men understand that in order to live in harmony with our neighbours in our communities, we need to adhere to certain moral, ethical, respectful, tolerant, commonsense practices. It seems that for too long we have left good citizenship and common sense unwritten and unenforced.

Real Men abide by good citizenship rules.

The challenge with having an illiterate electorate is that you get leaders who are nothing more than incompetent, manipulative thugs; and you only have to look at our world of dictators to see the point.

People need to be schooled, even in the most basic of levels, to understand how a government works; how officials and people in office are actually appointed by the people, and that they work for the electorate and not the other way around.

People need to pass a basic “how to live together test,” so that we all understand the need for respect, space and the rights of individuals. We need to understand that ‘might is not right’ and that self-interest never trumps the collective good.

THE REWARD

We are able to live in harmony with each other.

We are not guilty of really pissing somebody else off, because of our unconscious, intolerant behaviour.

THE HOW TO

1. Don’t litter.
2. Don’t talk on your phone without a car kit, whilst driving a car.
3. Never ever text and drive.
4. Don’t stop at the top of an escalator to decide which direction you’re going to walk in.
5. Know what you want to order in a restaurant.
6. If you are a jogger, don’t jog in the road where cars have to swerve to miss you.
7. If you’re a cyclist, keep strictly to your side of the road and never ride two abreast while chatting.
8. Put away your weights at a gym.
9. Put some pants on at a gym – I don’t want to see you ugly shriveled up, hairy junk.
10. Don’t be a noisy neighbour.
11. Don’t be a nosy neighbour.
12. When going to a movie, shut up.
13. When going to a movie, decide what it is you wish to see, before you get to the paying counter.
14. Don’t kick my chair. Don’t put your feet up on the chairs. Don’t snore in the movie.
15. Get involved in your community.
16. Stop complaining and do stuff.
17. Stop at Stop signs.
18. Don’t pull off, until the light turns green.
19. Don’t swerve your car right – when you want to turn left.
20. Wake up.
21. Drive in the slow lanes until you want to pass somebody, then pass them and move back into the slower lanes.
22. Basically, just obey the bloody rules of the road.
23. Obey your municipal bylaws.
24. Always think about how your conduct is affecting others.

TROUBLE SHOOTING

• Aren’t you proposing a nanny state?
  No spark plug, I am proposing a place where people think about what they do and how it affects other people around them. The old ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’ applies, nothing more – nothing less.
• All good and well, but there is no such thing as citizenship school, so what’s the plan?
  The plan is pretty simple, run your own citizenship school and be an ‘A’ student. Be the example of an outstanding citizen to your kids, your family, your friends and anyone who meets you.

WISDOM

“A good citizen needs not of necessity to be a good man.” – Aristotle