THE THING

Here’s the Thing! It’s true that making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got, it can be tough, that’s why having a true friend can make all the difference.

ARM knows this, so he commits to always having his friend’s back. When somebody knows that you have their back, they can act more confidently, knowing that someone is looking out for them. ARM understands that his best friend, (his wife or his girlfriend), or other male or female best friends, are the people that he puts first, and he always has their backs. Having someone’s back means that they can depend on you when times get tough. Having someone’s back means that someone is looking out for the haters who are sneaking up behind you when you are too focused on achieving your goal. When you know someone has got your ‘6’ (it’s an old military term, 12 o’clock being in front of you, 6 o’clock being behind you), you never have to worry about surprise attacks that you didn’t see coming.

Having someone’s back also means that when they are down on their backs, you are the one who lifts them up, bandages their wounds and sends them back out, feeling motivated to fight another day and never to give up.

Having someone’s back could also mean not getting involved, but having the person know that no matter what, you will be there when they need you.

When a friend knows that you have their back it means that they trust you completely and that you will never let them down.

You may be surprised to find that the people who really do have your back are not the ones you see every day. They may be people you only see once in a while, but when the shit hits the fan, they will stand next to you when everybody else deserts you.

THE REWARD

Knowing that you have a friend, who has your back, allows you the confidence to move forward and to achieve great things. Having someone else’s back, gives you the opportunity to help another human being.

THE HOW TO

1. Sometimes having someone’s back just means sitting in a room with him or her at 3 o’clock in the morning when they are hurting. It may just be the person who sits in the corner while your friend needs to process. In many cases, you don’t even have to say a word. You just have to be there.
2. Having a friend’s back is when someone close to them passes away. You go to the funeral and you stand next to or slightly behind them. When my Dad passed, I can honestly tell you I never remembered a single word anyone said, but I did remember who was there. I noticed who stood next to me without a word when I buried my Dad. I told the congregation that they didn’t have to say a word, the fact that they were there was enough.
3. If a friend has an unexpected, unplanned, unavoidable financial crisis, have their back.
4. If someone is bullying them or their family, have their back.
5. Your friend loses her job. You call your contacts, all your friends and you try and get her another one, because you’ve got her back.
6. ARM is a true friend, and is more than words; he acts and will not let you down.
7. If he makes excuses or has something more important to do, chances are he is a buddy and not a real friend.
8. Having his back means that you defend him or her. We will discuss this next.

TROUBLE SHOOTING

• What happens if your friend gets himself into financial difficulty because of a poor decision.
  We’ve already discussed that you should never lend money to a friend, unless it’s an emergency due to an unexpected event. You can still have someone’s back when it was all his or her fault. Hey – people make mistakes. A friend of mine fell on hard times – to be honest, they just spent too much – and asked me for money. I told him – no. The funny thing was that by saying no, I did have his back. I told him that as long as I was alive he would always have a roof over his head. There would always be food in his fridge, even if I had to buy the food and fill the fridge myself. He would never be homeless as long as I had a home, and he would never go hungry, as long as I was around. I would take care of his basic human survival essentials for him and his family while he got back on his feet. I had his back.You see, by lending him money, he would not have fixed what was wrong and I would have made it worse for him, because by the next month he would then owe me as well, and still have all his other debts.He was forced to make a plan with all of his creditors, and as a family they had to have tough conversations and change their behaviour. At the time, he thought I was a selfish prick, years later he thanked me and I know he now uses the same idea when he gets asked for money.

  The two questions that you should really ask yourself right now are: who’s back do you have and who has your back?

WISDOM

“I can’t promise to fix all of your problems, but I can promise you won’t have to face them alone.” – Anonymous