A Real Man has Character

THE THING

Here’s the Thing! So what is character? It’s a healthy self-image. It’s self-belief and not arrogance. It’s doing the right thing when the right thing needs to be done. It’s stepping forward when someone needs help. It’s commitment and being a man of your word. It’s doing what you say you will do. It’s the essence of being a Real Man.

So these ideals seem a little lofty and almost impossible, but they are not. This MANual is all about how to attain character so hopefully you are already on your journey. You see, being a Real Man is a daily practice to a destination we can only imagine for now. We can, we must, walk, talk and act like a Real Man and the more we do, the more we try, the more aware we are of our actions, the more we become. You don’t have to be perfect and have the perfect character. You just have to strive for excellence ever day. No one is perfect. Again, from Second Hand Lions: something doesn’t have to be for you to believe in it or for you to strive for it. Believing that you can and that you are a person of character will make you try and walk and talk and act like a person of character. A person of character has all of the foundations in this section. He is courageous, authentic, has integrity, speaks the truth, takes pride in all that he does and he is honourable. He cares, has feelings, loves to agitate, is humble and when times get tough he weathers the storms. He lives life on purpose and is an action man who always provides for and supports his family.

A Real Man has these as his foundation. Some Real Men (RM) have one or two of these character traits and live them to the extreme, others have some of them, but all RM work on these values and behaviours every day.

THE REWARD

Men with character own the world and anything they wish to have, do or be.

THE HOW TO

Draw up your list of character beliefs or values – if you wish to call them that – and commit to them.
Wake up every day and remind yourself that you have character and then live each day as a person of character; putting into action the values that make you a man of character.
There are many ways to build character. One of the best ways is through achievements or constant, never ending self-improvement.
This is where planning and discipline play a role. Set a goal and achieve it. When you do what you say you will do, you build trust in yourself and the more you are able to trust yourself the more you will learn to like yourself. Keep your word and do your ‘do’s’ every day and the self-like will become self-love. There can be no love or like without trust.
Please don’t skim over this bit – it is the crux of the whole MANual. Trust is the secret. Trust means that you do what you say you will do, no matter what, and with NO EXCUSES. A Real Man is built one trust at a time.
If you say and commit that you will walk 3km every day, then it doesn’t matter if the situation or circumstances are not ideal; if it’s raining, cold, snowing, hailing, or you have a headache – you walk.
If you say you will call, deliver, drop, collect, email, post, attend, support, stop doing, start doing, or whatever you have to – you do it.
Okay let’s go a bit deep here because this is so important: Everyone needs to be loved and liked, “it’s the purpose of life”, says Aristotle. If you want someone to love and like you, who has to like you first? You. You have to like and love yourself before anyone can love or like you. So, how do you learn to like and love yourself? The foundation of love and like is … trust. You cannot like and love someone if you cannot trust them. The same applies to you. It follows then that you need to be able to trust yourself. You learn to trust yourself by keeping your word with yourself. In other words – you keep your promises, especially the small ones that you make with yourself and others every day.
When you keep your word, especially with yourself, your subconscious mind tells your conscious mind that you are trusted and the more you are trusted the more you are liked by yourself. Stay with me here because this is good. The more you trust and like yourself the more you will start to love yourself. You really cannot like another person if you can’t trust them; you cannot love another if you don’t like them. The same applies to you: you cannot like or love yourself if you can’t trust yourself. It all starts with trusting yourself and keeping your word. All good so far? You still with me?
The longer you keep trusting, liking and loving yourself the more you will start respecting yourself for all you have done, achieved and become. When you do this again and again you will begin to accept yourself because you will have achieved self-acceptance. You accept yourself for who you are, for what you have done and achieved due to your effort and actions. The more you keep your word and grow self-trust and self-love – you will develop self-respect.

Soon you will start to have self-recognition and then you become a person of self worth or character. So, again, keeping you word and doing the stuff you commit to, will teach you and get you a feeling of being trust worthy. One more time so you really get this: when you trust yourself to do what you say and you start seeing the rewards of your actions you start to like yourself. Keep it going and you will soon start to love yourself, then to accept yourself, then to respect yourself and then you begin to recognise you for all you have become and you then have self-worth. You hold yourself in high regard.
A person with self worth is a person who sees themselves as having worth and being worthy. When you have self-love and respect you become love-able and respect-able to others. You have the able-ity to respect, to love, to accept, because you are trustable, likeable, loveable, acceptable and respectable. If you do this over and over you may become respect – full, and when you are full of love, acceptance, trust, and your cup runneth over, then you can willingly give love and acceptance to others.
If all of this hurts your head then all you have to remember is to keep your word and do what you say you will do. Keep your promises, no matter what, especially the commitments you make to yourself … and see the miracle.
Re-read this as many times as you like until you really get it. It’s arguably one of the most important things you need to get in your life.

TROUBLE SHOOTING

This all sounds very intellectual and very hard.
It’s not … but it is. Forget all the explanations and do one thing. KEEP YOUR WORD. DO WHAT YOU SAY YOU WILL DO AND DO IT OVER AND OVER. (So it’s a pretty simple idea but hard to execute because it requires discipline and grit.)

That’s it. That is all you have to do or be. Be a person of your word. Draw up a plan for your life and what you wish to achieve or the values you wish to live. Put the actions you need to do daily in a diary or reminder system, and don’t quit or miss a step. The rest will happen whether you focus on it or not. You don’t even have to understand it. Just do what you need to do in your marriage, with your kids, your career, your body, your spirituality, your education, your business, your creating, and marvel at not only what you achieve and the accolades you get from others – but the man of character you become.

WISDOM

“I said it; I did it”, is the surest and quickest way to build character, love and respect.” – Nivag Selprahs